I had just awakened my wife and she, somewhat quizzically, asked when I left the bed. I told her:
About 30 seconds after I dreamt that I was visiting with the Pollacks (a family from church) and I took Kenneth with me but he wasn't four he was only six months and we went inside and were having a great time and Seth Green (Scott Evil) was there and he was very funny and I was very funny and then Mrs. Pollack said that they were having a family get together and we should come because we were very funny and then I had to go to the bathroom and she drew aside a curtain (because they didn't have a door) and I went inside with Kenneth and sat down on the toilet, even though I didn't have to go poo only pee, and then because I had to go so very bad I wasn't able to keep ahold of Kenneth and he wriggled out of my arms and ran to the door (did I mention that he was only 6 months?) and examined the curtain and then he jerked it open, placed his hands on his hips, drew-up to a "Captain Morgan" pose and yelled, "I AM A GENIUS!" and ran out, laughing maniacally, so now, being alone, I let my bladder evacuate and quickly realized that I had just peed the bed. That's when I went and slept on the couch.
She laughed.
I then said, "I don't like sleeping in a peed bed, but I don't mind if you do."
She laughed harder. Lucky for me.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
The Terrible Questions...pt 1 Is There a God?
Today we will examine the most dangerous question ever asked, "Is there a God?" Except perhaps "Does this make me look fat?" But that is another discussion.
For just a moment, ignore the eons of tradition in every culture ever found on this planet and just simply ask yourself if a Supreme Creator exists. Your answer is very likely based upon a vague jumble of adherence to scientific theories; family traditions; personal hopes; and willingness to change your habits.
Science tells us something completely different than what YOU probably think I am about to say. Because most of the world's scientists today appear to be Atheistic it becomes rather easy to assume that science as a whole disbelieves in God. This however is untrue and lazy thinking.
Aside from the fact that without a full survey I cannot declare anything about the religious views of any group, the questions about God held by the learned are not so simple as yes or no. The confusion is part and parcel of their way of thinking.
Science is based upon a method that says (more or less) "I propose a theory. I test a theory. I adjust my views based upon the results of those tests. I test again and again until my theory is either so perfect that it never disagrees with the results or is wrong every single time and just cannot be true. I once proved that baby kittens do not take kindly to Black Flag ant spray. Five of them died and the last grew-up to be called Weirdo and ate cockroaches for fun...but I digress.
To a fully involved scientist, only very few things are really "proven true". These are the various LAWS such as gravity and the inverse relationship between the mass of the chocolate and my degree of self-control. Everything else is merely a probability. They are perfectly happy living day-to-day under this uncertainty and only occasionally does it harm them.
But you cannot test God in a lab. So when a scientist is asked if they "believe in God", often they must disassociate from their professional thought process and move into a more emotional, metaphysical sphere which is the absolute opposite of how they have trained themselves to view the universe. Many of our intrepid empiricists will simply throw their hands in the air and say, "I don't know".
On the other hand, family tradition is little better at giving us insight into the existance of God than an old game of "telephone". Some of you might not be familiar with this rainy-day past time so I will explain: Gather a chain of people, at least 5-6 but the more the better. Whisper something into Susan's ear (stop thinking like that you naughty naughty boy). Have Susan tell Jim who tells Bobby etc etc etc. Finally the last in the chain announces what he was told. Then number 5,4, 3, 2, 1. The longer the chain the less like the original message will the final one will be.
Although people honestly WANT to tell the truth, we make mistakes. This is why hearsay is inadmissable to courts of law. We need direct testimony and evidence. So what my G-G-G-G-G-Grandfather had to say about God may be interesting but it is NOT proof.
If we look to the Ancients for guidance we see the same question bedeviling them. The philosophers were continually either trying to prove or disprove the existance of the Gods. Their elaborate logical puzzles always began from one position and ran around for a few thousand pages before coming to the same conclusion: I believe THIS, although I cannot prove it beyond anyone else's ability to wonder.
Some people simply hope that there is a God. I am somewhat in this catagory. If one really thinks about it, what is left to us in this life if there is no God?
Absolute relativism (the belief that there is no right or wrong other than what Man decides) is a hopelessly unworkable system. If every person is a law unto themselves then there is effectively no law. Who would have the right to say that their view was any more "right" than anyone else's? The largest group? That leads to mob rule. Just ask Louie the XIV and his wife Toni. America, indeed most of Western Civilization, is dealing with this very proposition right now. We have cast off God for humanism and found that morality went with Him.
If we exist here by chance and live by our own will then die to enter a void of non-being then why try to do anything other than "eat, drink and be merry"? Why give a damn about the enviroment so long as I can have my pimped-out SUV and 20 pound of gold bling? Yo homeboy yo!
Without a God in which to place trust then there is simply no answer for the "why" questions that inevitably arise (and we shall discuss in later posts) such as "Why is there evil in the world" and "Why do the good suffer when the wicked seem to prosper?"
The Greeks were famous for their tragedies because they were caught-up in that nihilistic life-style that come from rejecting the idea of a loving God who wants good for His creations. One can hardly miss the similarities between many ancient civilizations and our own. Especially how they declined after turning away from Deity. When we lose hope in the future then we sink into depression, idleness and despair. Everything collapses and another, more vibrant society takes over. I for one would have welcomed Rome's new Vandal overlords.
But what about this "personal change" thing I mentioned? Many people do not want to believe because they don't want to change how they live their lives. If one accepts a moral code then it follows that they would live by it. Many religions have a good long list of don'ts. Mostly composed of the funnest things we can do in this life...wink wink. We'll talk about that later as well.
If I refuse to believe in God than I can watch football on Sunday holding my 40oz beer; sucking on a 6 inch blunt and warming-up the $20 hooker without the slightest hint of remorse or shame.
If God exists though, then all that fun is out. And I just lit that doobie too...
So the final answer to the first and biggest of the terrible questions is..."Brian believes that God is there, mostly from personal experience with the unseen world but also from a healthy fear of live without Him. But you answer all depends on what you want out of your life."
Next we will talk about which God is out there.
For just a moment, ignore the eons of tradition in every culture ever found on this planet and just simply ask yourself if a Supreme Creator exists. Your answer is very likely based upon a vague jumble of adherence to scientific theories; family traditions; personal hopes; and willingness to change your habits.
Science tells us something completely different than what YOU probably think I am about to say. Because most of the world's scientists today appear to be Atheistic it becomes rather easy to assume that science as a whole disbelieves in God. This however is untrue and lazy thinking.
Aside from the fact that without a full survey I cannot declare anything about the religious views of any group, the questions about God held by the learned are not so simple as yes or no. The confusion is part and parcel of their way of thinking.
Science is based upon a method that says (more or less) "I propose a theory. I test a theory. I adjust my views based upon the results of those tests. I test again and again until my theory is either so perfect that it never disagrees with the results or is wrong every single time and just cannot be true. I once proved that baby kittens do not take kindly to Black Flag ant spray. Five of them died and the last grew-up to be called Weirdo and ate cockroaches for fun...but I digress.
To a fully involved scientist, only very few things are really "proven true". These are the various LAWS such as gravity and the inverse relationship between the mass of the chocolate and my degree of self-control. Everything else is merely a probability. They are perfectly happy living day-to-day under this uncertainty and only occasionally does it harm them.
But you cannot test God in a lab. So when a scientist is asked if they "believe in God", often they must disassociate from their professional thought process and move into a more emotional, metaphysical sphere which is the absolute opposite of how they have trained themselves to view the universe. Many of our intrepid empiricists will simply throw their hands in the air and say, "I don't know".
On the other hand, family tradition is little better at giving us insight into the existance of God than an old game of "telephone". Some of you might not be familiar with this rainy-day past time so I will explain: Gather a chain of people, at least 5-6 but the more the better. Whisper something into Susan's ear (stop thinking like that you naughty naughty boy). Have Susan tell Jim who tells Bobby etc etc etc. Finally the last in the chain announces what he was told. Then number 5,4, 3, 2, 1. The longer the chain the less like the original message will the final one will be.
Although people honestly WANT to tell the truth, we make mistakes. This is why hearsay is inadmissable to courts of law. We need direct testimony and evidence. So what my G-G-G-G-G-Grandfather had to say about God may be interesting but it is NOT proof.
If we look to the Ancients for guidance we see the same question bedeviling them. The philosophers were continually either trying to prove or disprove the existance of the Gods. Their elaborate logical puzzles always began from one position and ran around for a few thousand pages before coming to the same conclusion: I believe THIS, although I cannot prove it beyond anyone else's ability to wonder.
Some people simply hope that there is a God. I am somewhat in this catagory. If one really thinks about it, what is left to us in this life if there is no God?
Absolute relativism (the belief that there is no right or wrong other than what Man decides) is a hopelessly unworkable system. If every person is a law unto themselves then there is effectively no law. Who would have the right to say that their view was any more "right" than anyone else's? The largest group? That leads to mob rule. Just ask Louie the XIV and his wife Toni. America, indeed most of Western Civilization, is dealing with this very proposition right now. We have cast off God for humanism and found that morality went with Him.
If we exist here by chance and live by our own will then die to enter a void of non-being then why try to do anything other than "eat, drink and be merry"? Why give a damn about the enviroment so long as I can have my pimped-out SUV and 20 pound of gold bling? Yo homeboy yo!
Without a God in which to place trust then there is simply no answer for the "why" questions that inevitably arise (and we shall discuss in later posts) such as "Why is there evil in the world" and "Why do the good suffer when the wicked seem to prosper?"
The Greeks were famous for their tragedies because they were caught-up in that nihilistic life-style that come from rejecting the idea of a loving God who wants good for His creations. One can hardly miss the similarities between many ancient civilizations and our own. Especially how they declined after turning away from Deity. When we lose hope in the future then we sink into depression, idleness and despair. Everything collapses and another, more vibrant society takes over. I for one would have welcomed Rome's new Vandal overlords.
But what about this "personal change" thing I mentioned? Many people do not want to believe because they don't want to change how they live their lives. If one accepts a moral code then it follows that they would live by it. Many religions have a good long list of don'ts. Mostly composed of the funnest things we can do in this life...wink wink. We'll talk about that later as well.
If I refuse to believe in God than I can watch football on Sunday holding my 40oz beer; sucking on a 6 inch blunt and warming-up the $20 hooker without the slightest hint of remorse or shame.
If God exists though, then all that fun is out. And I just lit that doobie too...
So the final answer to the first and biggest of the terrible questions is..."Brian believes that God is there, mostly from personal experience with the unseen world but also from a healthy fear of live without Him. But you answer all depends on what you want out of your life."
Next we will talk about which God is out there.
Friday, December 9, 2011
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