Friday, September 30, 2011

Warts And All

Warts And All

You kissed a frog who was a prince,
And loved him just the same,
Not perfect in the worldly sense,
Good enough for you to claim.

Your Lordly Prince was just a frog,
Despite all he would do,
Thought he could escape the bog,
Be the right man for you.

Can you settle for the Prince of Toads?
You know what name to call,
Let my love your heart enfold,
If you'll keep me, warts and all.



Brian K. Eddy
June 17, 2001

He's Different Than I Am

He’s Different Than I Am


I saw two men in mortal strife,
By their hate consumed,
Each lusted for the other's life,
So sore they both were doomed.

I pulled one aside and begged him tell,
Why he chose this awful plan,
The simple answer gave a chill,
"He's different than I am."

I saw two nations gone to war,
By their hate sustained,
Great slaughter til they lived no more,
No victory was gained.

With dying lips bespoke the guy,
Who stood to lead his clan,
"You wonder and I'll tell you why,
He's different than I am."

In yonder heavens God doth weep,
His love all creation spans,
"I beg you my commandments keep,
Don't be so different than I AM".



Brian K. Eddy
Apr 17, 2001


God loves each of us and wants us to come to Him, to be perfect like Him, to have eternal joy with Him. 

I was really proud of the last line.  Not only was it grammatically correct but the name He was known by to Israel until Moses was "I AM".  Look it up.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Haunted Mansion- Tale of the Crowned Guest

Anyone who has visited the Mansion knows of the wild parties held in its exquisite ballroom. Among the permanent guests is one Tiber Garrett who lives in a state of eternal joy.
Tale of the Crowned Guest
Name: Tiber Garrett
Born: February 27, 1791
Died: February 27, 1872
            Madam Victoria “Tangerine” Boufont’s parties were legendary. Anything could happen and usually did. Parisian soirees, Grecian festivals and Roman bacchanalia filled the social calendar. To be invited was an honor and to attend was a joy. The most coveted invitation of all was to Madam Boufont’s own birthday fete. Only her closest friends attended and they were acclaimed members of the family.
            On a bright New Year’s Day 1859, Victoria happened to meet the city’s newest resident, Miss Abnoba Garrett. More precisely, she overheard an unusual exchange between a harried hatter and a severe looking woman whose eyes glinted with mischievous glee.
            “I don’t care if a small and prim bonnet is the style. I want a wide hat with red lace and pink flamingo feathers.”
            “But Madam…”
            “’Madam’ me not, Sir! I am 62 years old and unmarried. How can I attract a husband if your hat makes me look like every other conniving little Miss out there?”
            There being no other woman in the Western Hemisphere who shared Tangerine’s love for the absurd so completely, they became instant and lifelong friends. Or as Victoria put it, “Abby, we’ve both seen a lot of life, let’s be friends for as long as we’ve got.” For the next month it was impossible to see one without the other and a stranger would have sworn they were sisters.
            January passed on and a fateful decision was innocently made which darkened the fate of three kind souls.
            The friends were enjoying a warm bouillabaisse at the French Market when Abnoba received her gold-inked birthday invitation from the Lady herself. For the first time, Boufont saw her companion’s countenance fall.
            “Abby my dear”, for Victoria’s middle name was Abigail, “it would be my greatest joy to attend but I am afraid I cannot. My brother Tiber arrives in two days. His birthday is also the 27th and I always spent it with him. It is terribly important.”
            “Ha! It could not be simpler Abby. If your brother is willing he may come too and he and I will share a birthday.”
            “Oh my sweet friend, if only it could be. But my brother is… he suffered the brain fever as a child and though he has grown to a stately old age he is no more than five in his mind.”
            Victoria was mercifully quick.
            “All the better Abnoba. We shall have cake and iced cream and play games to revive the child in us all. Please bring him, the Mansion has been so dark of late.”
            Gratitude and love shone from Abby’s face and a single tear moistened her cheek as she replied, “We shall be delighted to attend.”
            New Orleans grew younger as The Party approached. Grand Dames twittered like school girls and the whole city became positively silly. Someone even spiked the Bishop’s coffee with whisky before Mass.
No one was more excited though than Tiber Garrett, who had not been invited to a dance, party or luncheon for 62 years. He was pitied by all who met him but loved only by his devoted sister. News of the special attention had filled him with joy and made his afternoon naps quite impossible.
When the glorious day finally arrived, perhaps the first carriage to appear at the iron gates belonged to Abnoba and Tiber. The man-child could be seen through the window, bounding up and down laughing hysterically. No sooner had the front columns come into view than Tiber threw open the door, leapt from the still moving carriage and fairly pounced like a spring-loaded tiger through the rose bushes, obliterating several of them.
By the time Abnoba reached the portico, her brother was sitting on his haunches, sucking an offended thumb and being comforted by the kind-hearted Tangerine.
“Oh Victoria, your poor flowers. I am so…”
“Tut tut Abby. They are nothing. Help me bring Tiber inside and we’ll fix the man with some sweets.”
All things being prepared, the event soon began. It “snowed food and rained drink”[1]as the ancients used to say and all were in fine spirits. After the meal, came Tangerine’s announcement.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, friends and family, I welcome you to my 68th birthday party. Please allow me to introduce my very special guest, Mr. Tiber Garrett, a true gentleman with the pure heart of a child. He happens to share this anniversary with me and so we shall be celebrating together.
Tonight we will enjoy a hunt, not for deer or fox but for much more unusual game. I have selected a number of objects hidden throughout the house. Before each of you sits a list of clues which will assist you in finding those treasures. The one who, in the space of two hours, discovers the greatest number and returns them to me will be acclaimed King or Queen and afforded all of the pomp and honor due to a monarch. In addition, you will be crowned with this…”
She reached into a velvet lined chest and removed a silver crown. It was neither grand nor covered in jewels but tall and stately, bespeaking understated greatness.
“Use your imagination and your wit,” she continued, “for not all is what it seems.”
Her guests were caught-up in the infectious silliness of the game. Cries of joy could be heard throughout the house as clues were deciphered and puns revealed. “A Flying Lass” was in reality a fly trapped in a crystal inkwell. Whereas “You’d bet your life” answered to the royal flush hand of poker laid-out on a drawing room table.
Unbeknownst to the others, each of the party goers had assisted Tiber Garrett with some clue, assuming that he would be unable to solve them himself. When the bell chimed to mark the end of the game it was found that three people had tied with 13 items. Much to Tiber’s glee, he was among that group with young Julian Fairbairn and Master Gracey himself.
Tangerine addressed the throng, “I am gladdened that you have enjoyed yourselves so. But we simply must have a victor. Therefore, I will set this clever trio on one more quest. See the clue, ‘A Royal Pain’, which no one found. It refers to a purple rose. I will give you one half hour. Go forth to honor and glory my champions!”
George and Julian immediately made for the gardens while Tiber seemed at a loss for direction. After a few moments he trotted off in the direction of the cellars.
Over the course of the evening, many of the searchers had wandered into the vicinity of Madam Leota’s chambers. Some had even ventured to knock on her door. With each interruption the witch had become angrier until finally, when the very enthusiastic rapping of Tiber Garrett echoed through the dungeons, she burst forth with rage, “You shall seek for all eternity and never find your prize! Reynard’s Glove within your hand shall darken both your eyes.”
Just then Tangerine stepped around the corner and called for Tiber to, “come away my dear”.
Leota turned to face the newcomer and screeched at Madame Tangerine, "Thirteen years from today…you…will…die!"
Victoria had never believed in the medium and laughed her to scorn. Tiber however was beside himself with fear and sorrow. He ran for all his might from the dark hall and didn’t stop until he had nowhere else to go, having somehow made his way to the attic.
There he sat down and cried. Poor Tiber had never hurt anyone before and though he didn’t understand Leota’s words they sounded really bad and he knew he was at fault.
After a while he got bored with crying and began to look around. Boxes and chests surrounded him and there in the corner, bless my soul, was the most amazing thing. Tiber knew at once that he had won the game and, grabbing the large object, rushed out of the attic and down to the ballroom.
In his absence the party had gone on. Julian and George despaired of locating the final object and agreed to call the game a draw. Drinking and dancing had begun when Tiber burst into the room yelling, “I’ve won! I’ve won!”
Tiber my dear”, cooed Victoria, “that is impossible. Mr. Fairbairn and George looked all over the garden and could not find the rose I had dyed purple. [2] It must have been plucked sometime.”
“No Tangerine, I have it! I have it, a purple Rose!”
Thereupon Tiber unveiled the large portrait he had been carrying. Sure enough it bore a plaque inscribed: Rose Cavanaugh 1784-1801 “Missed By All”. Across the front of the painting was a large splash of dark wine, staining the young woman’s face a brilliant shade of lavender.
Tiber that canvas is of my Aunt Rose. I loved her dearly. And to be sure, she is a most beautiful purple. Everyone! Tiber has won the game.”
Cheers erupted from the crowd, the circlet was placed on his head and King Tiber the First took his place at the head of the table. So great was his joy that Victoria and her closest friends agreed to bring Tiber back every year and no matter the game, he was to win.
The Great Clock of Time slowly ticked by and true to their word, Victoria and company presented Tiber with the silver crown each February 27th. He never suspected the ruse and they never grew tired of seeing his complete and utter joy. Tiber though had a little secret that even dear Abnoba knew nothing about.
Despite his mental state, Tiber remembered Leota’s words and slowly pieced together that after 13 years Tangerine Boufont would die. Every year, at his first opportunity, he would sneak away from the party and find the evil Madam to beg forgiveness and a lifting of the curse. At first Leota would not even speak to him. She railed at his stupidity and shut the door in his face.
Eventually she began to play with him and offered to lift the doom but only if he accomplished some impossible or unpleasant task. Counting all the windows in the house was typical or bringing her a live rat for her potions. He tried mightily but could never quite fulfill her bidding. Leota would then dismiss him with a, “I’m sorry Tiber, you have failed again. Perhaps next year you can save Tangerine from a terrible death.”
In 1872, for the first time, Tiber Garrett did not want to go to the party. He mumbled and shuffled about. The clothes were too hot and the food would be “icky”. No one but Tiber remembered that this was the thirteenth party.  
Abnoba compelled him to Gracey Manor and was quite surprised when, upon their arrival; he sprung forth and rushed in the door. “Seems he wants to be here after all”, she thought.
The party was the last thing on his mind. He lumbered straight to Leota’s door and pounded on it with all his strength.
“Leoooootaaaaaa! Leooooootaaaaaaa!”
The door creaked open and for the first time Tiber entered the mysterious room.
“Yes Tiber. You wanted something?”
“Madam Leota, please please don’t hurt Tangerine. She my friend. I sorry for make you mad.’
Tiber, you have begged me for these 13 years now. I have never seen such devotion before.” Her hooded eyes could not belie the wicked smile on her lips. “I think I shall give you something to end this curse.”
“Really, you help Tiber? Thank you thank you”
“Yes, I shall finish this tonight.” Leota took down a small dark bottle from her shelf and gently handed it to the excited man. “Pour this into Tangerine’s drink tonight and she will have peace in her heart forever. But mark my words, no one must know what you have done or the magic will not work.”
“Oh Leota, you good. You kind. I love you.”
For half a second the witch seemed to be stunned. Never had those words been spoken to her, even in jest. Almost she repented of the plot but her thirst for wickedness knew no bounds.
“Hurry Tiber, before I change my mind.”
He left the dungeon brimming with happiness. Finally the spell would be broken and Tangerine would be safe. As Tiber trotted through the halls he began to think, “Leota said it would give her peace. Maybe it would make me happy too?”
He crept into the ballroom and seized a pair of wine glasses. Quickly he poured half the bottle into each and spoke loudly, “I toast Tangerine! She good lady. I love her.” Lady Boufont arose, glided to the side board and took a glass from his proffered hand.
Tiber, you are good man. I love you too.”
Together they drained the flutes and returned to the party.
By the birthday pair was dead. Tangerine quietly in her sleep and Tiber in a dramatic spasm while on the road to New Orleans. The cause of death was ruled old age and heart attack respectively. Leota’s curses had proven true.
Victoria’s ghost continued to celebrate birthdays, chiefly as a means of irritating Leota. In her defiance she could thumb her nose at the powerful spiritualist. Tiber’s spirit eventually found its way back to the Mansion where he could relive the scenes of his greatest triumph forever.

Haunted Mansion-Tale of the Hanged Man

The Hanged Man is the first truly horrible thing one sees in the mansion. After apssing through the foyer, guests enter the circular gallery which has "no windows and no doors". He makes his appearance overhead with a flash of lightning and the echoed screams of his wife's ghost.
Tale of the Hanged Man (see Tale of the Ghost Host)
Name: Master George Gracey Jr.
Born: October 31, 1830, Winsocket, RI
Died: February 29, 1872
            To a man the Graceys were strong and proud. They were always the master of their environment and could be fierce when challenged. It was this iron grasp on his realm which proved the last Graceys downfall.
            George Gracey jr. inherited his father’s need for absolute control. He was quick to anger and prone to violence. Yet his mother Mary had endowed him with a sense of adventure; a longing for new experiences. And from somewhere in the dark recesses of his ancestry, George received a frivolous streak nigh close to buffoonery. These traits served to make him charming, intimidating, loved, feared and utterly unstable.
            During his 15 years as “Master Gracey” George had  made and lost two fortunes; over 60 people had died in and around the Mansion including his beloved first wife Lilian; and the entire household had fallen under the influence of the mysterious Madam Leota. George was bound to her somehow and could never seem to throw-off her yoke. Even when announcing his engagement to Emily Cavanaugh it was with fear of Leota’s reaction.
            These years of tragedy weighed heavily on the man’s shoulders. When his bride was taken from him on their very wedding night, it caused George’s mind to snap like a taut hawser. He tore the otherwise neat attic to shreds because that was where Emily had died. He ran through the grounds swinging an axe wildly at the trees, lopping some branches and merely weakening others. Finally his bit lodged in a very ancient oak and could not be removed. Most telling of all, Master Gracey turned on Leota and began to openly resist her powers.
            The last few months of his life were a continual round of arguments with the witch. She accused him of abandoning his responsibilities and withholding what was rightfully hers. He berated her dark magic, called her a fraud and a devil.
            Little Leota’s death at the end of November 1871 brought forth tears of shame and regret, interspersed by maniacal laughter and cries of, “Free and free and free again!”
            Meanwhile, whispers of George’s madness spread throughout the region and tales of the cursed house became fodder for long winter nights.
            A measure of sanity returned to Gracey just before his Great-Aunt Victoria’s birthday. This recovery was short-lived for Leota’s long standing curse struck the Lady down that very evening and George blamed himself. Thereafter he partook heavily of whiskey and laudanum until all feared the demon-possessed Master.
            It was cold and drizzly on February 29, 1872. The evening was filled with dark foreboding. George sat in his great chair at the ballroom table, a tankard of strong spirits at his elbow and called incessantly for Leota to “come and finish it!” He had no plan on how to end this hellish existence but he knew he would take her with him.
            Leota appeared just at the ¾ hour chime. “Almost ”, she thought, “soon.”  In her arms were the ancient spell book used in all her séances and the heavy crystal ball which served her well.
            “George, are you ready to accept your destiny? It need not end in tears. We can begin anew, you and I.”
            “What Leota? Would you present me with the choice of Ambrose? Am I to give you all and my soul as well? I would rot in Hell first!” Suddenly George lunged forward and swept at the sorceress with his ruby-hilted saber. It missed wildly and pulled him off balance to a shameful heap on the floor.
            “Well George…if you will not give me what is mine, I shall take it.”
            Leota set her book on the table, flipped three pages and began to intone under her breath. Candle flames jumped and bent toward the now incandescent globe. George could feel the hair of his head lift and drag him forward. Even through the fog of drink he knew that touching that crystal would mean death. He scrambled to his feet and swayed drunkenly toward the nearest door.
            Leota’s voice chased him from the room. “You cannot escape George. What’s left of the staff answer to me. You are all alone and I will find you.”
            The world spun in Graceys head as he climbed the staircase. The witch’s measured steps not far behind. She was in no hurry and could enjoy the game.
            “Do you know why Lilian had to die George?”
            He slipped and a walnut banister leapt up to open his skull to the bone.
            “Do you know how Emily really died?”
            Blood poured into his eyes. “Must hide, must hide. Need time to think!”
            “Poor Elma…Poor Victoria
            He burst into the attic and knocked-over a priceless statue. Clawing through the debris he made for the northwest corner and a passage known only to the Master of the house. He had barely slipped inside and pulled a heavy sea chest in place when Leota entered the room, graceful as a lioness on the prowl.
            “Where are you my darling? Don’t play hide and seek with your true love.”
            This insult to the latest Missus Graceys memory and death steeled his nerves. Rage shook him even as the close air was filled with the tang of bile and sweat and spirits. George reached to shove the passage open and confront her when suddenly the trunk flew up and crashed out a high window. Ten feet away stood the beautiful demon, her face a sickly green in the crystal ball’s decayed light. A deep malevolent laugh spilled from her lips.
            “It is over George. We have had our merry chase but I have you. Now I am lady of this house and you will answer to ME!
            The desperate man heard doom in that laugh and all thought of resistance vanished like a bayou mist. He scuttled backward through the tunnel and came out in the tall weather tower. A narrow walkway ringed the space and then only half-way round. Down the middle stretched a bell rope, not used in 50 years. George saw there was no escape from here. Windows he couldn’t reach and a deadly drop to the enshrouded floor below. Unsteady from exertion and wine he beat a tottering path to the far side and attempted to disappear in the gloom.
            Leota entered as a radiant Angel of Death. The fetid light from her globe was a living flame and turned her beauty into a sinister mask. The lash of her voice cleaved his soul.
            “Come to me…NOW!”
            George felt invisible hands lift him bodily in the air and throw him toward certain annihilation. Without thinking he clutched at the rope in passing and just caught it with one hand. He swung in a wide arc and a wild right foot kicked Leota’s arm. Her crystal soared high in the air and bounced off the roof. Now free of her command, the ball no longer sought for George alone but all life to be encased in its ravenous depths. A tornado sprang to life within the tower and caught away Leota’s breath even as she howled in frustrated rage. Master Gracey clung to the rope as a lifeline but that proved his undoing as it twisted around his throat 1-2-3 times and strangled him unconscious. Thrown about by the wind, the orb pinged from one wall to the other. Leota had almost escaped to the tunnel when her heavy crystal ball darted across the room and smashed into the back of her skull.
            A keen observer may have noticed four things happen at that instant: Leota’s head passed clean into the ball; her body vanished; calm flooded the tower and Master George Gracey jr, last of his line, gave one feeble kick before entering the spirit realm.
            Leota and the ball dropped into the inky well below. After a few brief seconds a square of light opened on the floor and Ramsley the butler entered, the spell book under one arm. He looked at George’s body high above, gave a wicked grin and carried Leota out of Master Graceys final resting place.     

The Man WHo Built His House Upon a Rock Ch 7 pt 2

She was a bit surprised that Jake didn’t spend any time with her but then the other kids kept her so busy that she hardly noticed. Finally about six a loud horn sounded and everyone headed back for dinner. Fifty pre-teens headed for the picnic tables which were piled with hotdogs, hamburgers, corn-on-the-cob, chips, sodas, and a dozen different pies.
Ginni stopped to hang her towel on a line with the other wet things when a whisper came from the other side.
“Hey Virginia, come here.” It was Jake and he seemed nervous.
She slipped between the damp hangings and found herself in a small round copse of trees. It was closed all around except for the mouth, covered by the drying line. All sounds of laughing and eating were deadened by the towels. There stood Jake, holding a bouquet of fresh wildflowers and smiling.
“HereTheseAreForYou” he blurted out and shoved them in her face. For once his cool had failed him.
“Thank you” she replied rather shyly. No one had ever given her flowers before. The experience was entirely new and fraught with dangers untold.
“I’m glad you could make it to the party,” he ventured, “It wouldn’t have been as much fun without you.”
Ginni took a step closer to the boy and noticed for the first time how adult he looked. His arms had some definition from hard work, there was a fine sheen of blond hair across his upper lip, and his eyes seemed to be peering directly into her heart, which was beating rather fast at the moment.
“I was kinda surprised you invited me,” she sighed and gazed into his eyes with longing. He edged forward so their breath perfumed the air between them.
“Why wouldn’t I invite the prettiest girl in the school?” he ventured. Almost at once he looked away, fearful that he had gone too far.
Her hand lifted, almost of its own accord, and brushed the shock of blond hair from his eyes. He turned obediently to stare into hers. Ginni’s heart was racing faster than ever. She knew intellectually what was happening; could describe the chemical reactions in the brain and how certain glands were excreting dopamine and adrenaline. But for that she was still caught in the moment, all fears, all doubt, everything faded into nothingness. She was completely unprepared for what happened next.
She closed her eyes and trembled to feel that first kiss. Somehow her arms were wrapped around his neck; he was leaning forward; the whole world outside their tiny cell disappeared in the anticipation of discovery and joy; she felt a firm pressure to her lips…which was cold and slimy.
She leapt back in shock. “Jake?!” she cried in bewilderment. She saw that he had the same look on his face as must be on hers. Standing there grinning evilly was Amy Willingham, holding up the large wet catfish which so recently she had dangled between their puckers.
A roar of laughter arose and Ginni’s head jerked around to see that the clothesline concealing them had been dropped to the ground. Every kid in their 8th grade class was staring, pointing, laughing and mocking. The few parents attending the picnic were too befuddled to realize what had just happened.
Not one person in a hundred would have thought Virginia Shelton could be made speechless. She always knew what to say and had no fear of saying it. Right now however, her jaw was immovably set.
“Hey Verbrainia,” said Amy in her most horrible sing-song voice. “You didn’t think I was going to let you kiss my boyfriend did you?”
Jake looked as stunned as Ginni but had not yet found his own voice.
Amy slid her arms into Jake’s and gave him a huge, intimate hug, but her eyes never left Ginni.
“We’ve been planning this for weeks. I don’t care how smart you are. You’re just a naïve little girl.”
Something odd began to happen then. A burning sensation in Virginia’s face, the muscles twitched, her stomach disappeared entirely, and for the first time since she was two-and-a-half, Ginni began to cry. Tears flooded down and wet her swimsuit anew. Most of the kids fell silent, some looked away embarrassed for her. A select few of the most popular kids though, began to chant in unison:
Virginia, Virginia
Surprised you had it in ya,
You held a fish,
And loved his kiss,
What boy could ever win ya?
“Or would want to”, hissed Amy with every bit of venom she could muster.
Ginni’s face glazed over with suppressed rage. She knew, had known from the first moment Jake had talked to her, that this had to be one colossal attempt to ruin her life. She hated these kids. She hated Amy. And above all, she HATED Jake Swartz.
He turned to her and pleaded with his eyes. All he could do was shake his head and mouth the word “no” but it was too late for that. Ginni grabbed her towel, rammed on her sandals and, with shoulders squared, walk stoically through the crowd toward the adults.
“Mrs. Carson, I’m not feeling well. I wonder if you could take me home.”
Everything had happened so quickly that the parents saw only a large laugh rise up from the pack of wild 12-year-olds. They were glad everyone was enjoying themselves.
“Are you okay Virginia dear? You haven’t been stung by anything? Your face looks puffy.”
A tiny little man inside her heart had just finished a very important job. His chore was to take every bit of excitement, joy and hope she had felt at the idea of kissing Jake; wrap it tightly in a blanket of forgetfulness; shove it roughly into an empty closet; and lock the door forever. Boys weren’t worth the pain she decided.
“No ma’am. I just want to go home.”
Ginni told her mother very little about what had happened and somehow the story never reached her through normal adult channels. It seemed as if the whole town, with the exception of Amy and her gang, wanted to put the embarrassing event behind them.
To her immense relief, one good thing did come as a result: a number of girls came to know Ginni and realized that she wasn’t the stuck-up prig everyone assumed her to be. In fact, she was a good and loyal friend. They were neither the most popular, nor the smartest. They weren’t the athletes, the singers, the musicians or the student government. But they were kind and Ginni was thankful.
Her 15th birthday coincided with that year’s Junior/Senior Prom. When Virginia steadfastly refused to even consider the idea her parents put their collective feet down.
Virginia darling, you simply must go. It is important for a girl to have these experiences.”
“You mean it is a rite of passage without which I will never feel as if I have fully qualified into the greater society.” The air of superiority was unmistakable.
Ginni had long since surpassed her parents in knowledge and intellect. But they knew their daughter and trotting out psychological or sociological terms was her way of building a protective wall.
Theo cleared his throat and took her in a warm embrace.
“Baby, we understand how hard it is being…special. People get jealous and lash out at things they don’t comprehend.”
She pulled away abruptly and eyed her father with the overt frustration of someone trying to teach an infant how to count.
“Father, I am not trying to avoid going out with a boy. I just don’t know any that I want to be with…for a good time…in public…AT A DANCE!” she almost yelled. Hannah Shelton’s mouth had dropped open and her face appeared scandalized. Theophilus was grinning widely while deep belly laughs shook him from head to toe.
Virginia began to laugh gently, once more hugged her father, and then whispered, “Shut-up Dad.” He had always, and would always, be her number one guy.
Mr. Shelton arranged for her to be escorted by the son of a fellow teacher at William Byrd High. Special permission was granted for her to take a boy her own age though he was only in middle school. Afterwards they would go with her friends to the café for soda and ice cream. Then the kids would drive down to Roanoke for a movie.
Grace Peters’ boy seemed nice enough, even if he had a bit of a reputation as a cut-up. He was going to Hidden Valley in Roanoke for some reason that nobody was quite sure of, but it was never said he was anything less than kind. This was exactly what the Shelton’s wanted for their baby girl’s social debut.
The prom was unremarkable in any way. Burgundy and orange streamers graced the gym ceiling and balloons floated lazily in mid-air, depending upon how much helium had already escaped. A huge paper-mache terrier sat in one corner, wearing a football jersey and chewing on the long golden locks of a Northside High Viking.
Dozens of girls gathered on one side of the hall twittering loudly. Their excitement ran at a fever pitch as they examined, evaluated and exuded over each and every dress or hair style to come through the door. The young men were equally engaged at the other end, comparing how good their dates looked and asking about plans for after-parties.
Virginia and Simon stepped into the darkened building and was immediately the object of intense scrutiny.
“Who did she come with”, hissed around the room.
“Isn’t that Simon Peters, the kid who stole Terry Terrier before homecoming last year?” echoed in reply.
Then a raised voice said, “Yeah, my little brother knows him. Let’s go kick his butt!”
Simon was nervous enough coming to a high school prom. His mom made him come as a favor to her friend Mr. Shelton and the misunderstanding about their school mascot didn’t help. Yes he took the dog but only to frame Patrick Henry High. He wanted to start a prank war with the Patriots but needed someone with a driver’s license as co-conspirator. If he, Simon, were to “rescue” the dog then any number of William Byrd Terriers would be happy to drive him to Roanoke on missions. Fate was not on his side though as a pair of cheerleaders espied him painting Terry Terrier red, white and blue. The little tri-corn hat was already perched jauntily on the furry beast’s head. It was one of the few times a joke had gone wrong and hurt his reputation fairly bad.
A large group of football players lumbered toward him and Virginia. She turned and muttered, “I think they are coming over to make fun of me. Try to ignore them.”
She looked mortified and wished over and over that this crowd would just let her alone. Ginni was therefore a bit taken aback when they walked right past her without a word and confronted Simon.
“Hey Peters you dork. What are you doing here? I thought you liked Patrick Henry.”
“Guys, guys”, he said with his palms showing, “I ain’t got nothin’ against Byrd. I was just trying to have a little fun.”
“I got some fun for you right here”, growled a burly senior and reached out to grab Simon by the lapels.
At that moment a number of seemingly unrelated things happened: several balloons popped; doors slammed shut all around the gym; and the lights were extinguished to be replaced with a blue laser beam scattered by the disco ball which created a strobe effect.
Simon managed to dodge his attacker and throw himself headlong into an unsuspecting (and smaller) boy blocking his escape. They bowled over onto the floor in a mass of flailing limbs. The larger boys reacted quickly but the lights had bought Simon the split-second he needed. Rolling over toward the refreshment table, he grabbed a punch bowl and heaved it into the gang’s path.
The highly polished and suddenly wet floor, combined with their frantic movements and slick dress shoes, served to create a scene directly out of the Keystone Kops. The five ball players kept falling over each other and yelling ever more vulgar obscenities as Simon laughed heartily at their quandary.
With a flair of gallantry he removed the overcoat from his shoulders, draped it over Ginni and escorted her out the front doors into the cool evening air. Following in their train were 30 couples cheering the overthrow of William Byrd’s ruling clique.
Simon proved to be a singularly boring date unless there was some kind of trouble going on. He listened politely but without interest to the conversation and offered little of his own. After the second hour his eyes glazed over and Ginni knew he would find an excuse to avoid the movie. Two years of psychology courses told her that Simon was a very self-conscious boy who acted out as a defense mechanism. He would never hurt anyone intentionally and deep down, underneath all the joking, he was a very shy gentleman who idolized women.
“Shame I won’t see him again,” she thought as they pulled up to his home and Simon leapt from the car’s back seat, “He might be worth knowing some day.”
For the next three years Virginia was quite content to ignore the local boys, keep busy and look forward to college where, she was sure, everyone would be far more mature.

The Man Who Built His House Upon a Rock CH 7 pt 1

Ch. 7
A Precious Stone

Women often complain that men are childish and competitive. What they don’t recognize is the method to the madness. When males preen and pose, brag and lie, fight and then become friends, what they are really doing is trying to “sort out” their place in the group. Who is the Alpha Male? The biggest, strongest or most forceful personality steps to the fore and rules until a challenger dethrones him. Men just don’t know what to do unless someone is leading the pack and everyone else follows. The mockettes are wrong though in believing that this is childish or restricted to males. Ladies perform the same social dance, continually asking themselves “Who is the ‘Queen Bee’?” and “Do I belong in this hive?”
One girl who never belonged to any hive was Virginia Shelton. She was an intellectual prodigy and earned a high school diploma by the age of nine. Her parents kept her in school, taking community college courses on the side for eight more long years. She earned all the associate degrees available from every college within driving distance. Mr. and Mrs. Shelton weren’t pushing the education so much as giving her time to develop better social skills. You see, Virginia had the aggravating habit of interrupting and talking over her parents when she felt they were wrong. This happened many many times a day. Her maturation was somewhat hampered by the unfortunate fact that she was usually correct.
Blessed with a keen and inquisitive mind, Ginni (the name her cousins used) loved to be involved with any project, so long as it was primarily dealing with adults. Soon she was a volunteer at shelters, food banks, church and political groups. Some joked that she would get the keys to the mayor’s office before those of her first car. That was fine with her because other kids just did not make any sense at all.
By 14 Ginni was ready to spread her wings and fly. Something her parents were only grudgingly prepared to allowed.
“Mother,” she had stopped calling them Mommy and Daddy at three. “I just do not understand why you and father are being so over-protective. I am almost an adult. I have degrees in sociology, behavioral science, communications, psychology and criminal justice. Yet you guys won’t let me ten feet out of your sight!”
“Now don’t exaggerate dear.” Her mother said in complete seriousness. “You won’t get your Criminal Justice certificate until you turn in the final and take your firearms course.”
Stamping her foot she burst out, “Mother, you know what I mean. I understand people better than…”
She had been about to say, “Better than you and Father” but she didn’t think that would earn her any brownie points. After the briefest pause she spluttered, “Well better than most people do.”
“Honey, I’m not saying you don’t understand the theory…”
“Mother! How can I possibly get any real world experience if you don’t let me out into the real world?”
From the moment of Virginia’s first word, ‘hamster’ at six months, Hannah Shelton knew that she and her husband Theophilus were in for a rough time. Their daughter grew normally in body, but her mind took leaps for which they were not prepared.
By her first birthday Virginia, who still could not walk, would crawl around the living room until she found the newspaper. Upside down or not, she could tell them all the letters and many of the words. For her second birthday she helped her brother Justin with his math homework (he had trouble with fractions). The day she entered Kindergarten was momentous. She took the 7th grade equivalency test and scored 93%. She would have done better but there was a difference of opinion concerning the effects of immigration on 19th century American labor markets. She favored a laissez faire approach while the test authors were ardent Keynesians.
The school only allowed her to skip two non-consecutive grades, and she had to attend classes and take the tests. She celebrated moving on from the 6th grade by passing the High School exit exam and receiving both degrees at the same ceremony.
Child psychologists were frequent visitors to the Shelton home during these early years. More than one hoped to make his name by analyzing this miraculous girl and publishing an insightful paper explaining her coping mechanisms in dealing with the awareness of her own unique gifts. Their interest died away soon after she released a dissertation which at once demolished their theories and chided the entire profession for utilizing too narrow a focus on child geniuses. She had a much broader outlook on life than any other 8-year-old and she knew it.
Only at High School did her parents draw a line in the sand and insist that she slow down a bit. Virginia could have taught most of the classes and did a thriving tutoring business on the side so learning wasn’t a concern. Mom and Dad were primarily worried that their precious little girl had no real friends. As with most parents, they doted on their offspring and could not understand why other kids shunned her. Virginia on the other hand had long before decided that if being popular meant pretending to be dumber than any boy in the room; being concerned only with how she looked; and slavishly following the latest fad; then she would have nothing to do with it or them thank you very much. Puberty, however, would have its say.
She first noticed boys about the age of eleven. This was particularly difficult for her because, being in the eighth grade, the male students were two years older than she and not at all interested in the “freaky little girl” who beat them in all academic challenges. If possible, the girls were even more horrible. None of her classmates offered friendship or understanding. They laughed at her as she passed through the awkward changes into young womanhood. She felt completely alone and all the books in the world didn’t help her feel the slightest bit better.
One spring morning, uber-popular Jake Swartz did the last thing anyone at William Byrd Middle School could have expected. He spent the week being nice to Virgina. He carried her books, opened doors, and even sat next to her at lunch. Amy Willingham was none too pleased with that particular arrangement as she felt Jake was something close to her personal property.
As Ginni began to loosen-up a little he took it a step further. Walking across the quad he reached down and took her hand. The audible gasps from one end of campus to the other roared like a tornado. When she smiled up at him he knew the time had come.
“Ginni, my dad is letting me have a party at the lake on Saturday. Would you like to come? We’re gonna swim, have a bar-b-cue, he might even let us use his jet skis if we promise to be careful. What’d’ya say?”
“I-I would love to”, she stuttered. Never before had she been invited to a party.
As Saturday approached Jake became, if possible, even kinder to Ginni. He included her in conversations and told other kids off for making fun. For that glorious week she was in bliss.
The big day dawned bright and hot. Western Virginia was sweating through an unusually early summer with temperatures reaching 80 well before noon. It was perfect for a day at the lake. Ginni dressed excitedly and giggled all through breakfast. Her parents not only noticed the change in their normally serious daughter but were practically alarmed.
Virginia, we want you to have a good time today but don’t read too much into this. He is just a boy remember.”
“Father, I plan on having fun, not getting married. Honestly!”
But the more primitive part of Virginia’s brain, the emotional part, was wholly engrossed in thoughts of the first boy to ever treat her special and how she might get him to kiss her.
Hannah dropped off her daughter at the lake and agreed to come back around 9pm. There was a knot in the pit of her stomach as she surveyed the dozens of kids surrounding four large jet skis and a speed boat. Not one of these kids had ever come over to play or invited Ginni to their home. No girlfriends to chat with. No boys to dream about. Part of her was thrilled at the idea that her special girl might finally be fitting in. But the mother grizzly inside remembered how cruel children can be.
“Oh please let her have fun today.” She cried nervously all the way home.
The sun was warm and the water cool. Virginia had a great time splashing in the lake with her new friends, skipping stones, and listening to all the gossip she had missed out on for years. The girls were so very sweet and kind. Amy escorted her all afternoon and made sure that Ginni got to meet everyone.

The Man Who Built His House Upon a Rock Ch 6 pt2

“Stone, are you…bewitched?”
The question rang hollow in his ears. “I don’t believe in this crap,” he thought, “but there sure is something going on here.”
“If you understand me“, he said aloud, “show me what you can do.”
The lights swirled around him in a brilliant tornado, lifting him off the ground and setting its burden in the crook of an ancient and gnarled oak at the circle’s edge. Just below his left hand, stuck deep where the tree had grown around it, was a piece of metal. It was tarnished and black, invisible from anywhere but exactly this spot. Simon grabbed hold of it and pulled but the thing did not move.
“Stone, do you mean for me to get this? Is it valuable or something?”
A galaxy of stars poured over the branch and wrenched apart the imprisoning wood. Now free of its wooden scabbard, Simon could tell this was a long silver knife. It had jewels on the hilt and a dark red crust on the blade.
He took it with a mixture of excitement and fear that he was involved with things he ought not to be.
“This isn’t the knife is it? The one used to make the Witch Drum?” His voice was shaking more with each word. “I don’t want it…I DON’T WANT IT!” he cried.
He let go the knife and jerked back from it as the silver blade fell from his hand. Overbalanced, they two toppled to the ground and landed with a muffled thud on deep piles of leaves. Simon groaned a little and rolled over. Nothing seemed to be broken and for that he was thankful. The branch from which he had slipped was a good 15 feet high.
Rising to his hands and knees, he noticed a small hollow at the base of the old oak. Deep inside was the faintest outline of something square and solid. He reached into the gap, further and further, stretching to his utmost. Then his fingers closed on a cold iron ring. He pulled and tugged mightily until with a slight cracking sound, a chest popped out. It was larger than Momma’s stew pot, dark wood and bound in iron.
There was a hasp and small lock but they were so rusted that the slightest pressure caused them to disintegrate. Simon knelt by the chest and lifted the lid. Inside was the answer to all of the boy’s prayers: gold coins glittered in the suddenly bright sunlight; silver reals and tiny “pieces of eight” filled the bottom of the cask; a small number of exquisitely cut gems flashed and sparkled. On top was the largest sapphire he could imagine, bluer than the sea and glowing as if lit by an inner fire.
Young as he was, Simon knew this would be a small fortune. The gems alone had to be worth thousands, tens of thousands of dollars. His Momma sure could use the money and maybe she would buy him that new video game system.
The longer he gazed at the trove the louder his mind argued with his heart. “Who would leave so much money stuck inside a tree anyway?” he thought. It had to be pirate treasure or, or maybe…maybe it was the lost gold his ancestors had stolen. The box sure looked old enough. And the silver knife was stuck in this tree. “But nobody proved they stole it and if it was theirs then as their kin it should be mine.”
This simple logic settled the matter right there. He pocketed the sapphire, slammed the lid shut, took off his coat and wrapped it around the box. He sure didn’t want anyone else seeing this before he could get it home.
Once on his bike, Simon pedaled for all he was worth. His mind raced faster still, how wonderful this was. How amazing! Momma wouldn’t cry anymore! They could buy a bigger house!
In his euphoria, Simon did not see the tree root sticking up in front of him. A loud sickening screech of metal bending erupted as his front rim folded upon itself and the tire exploded. The thin boy flipped over the handlebars, turned two perfect summersaults and landed roughly in a heap. Someone watching the accident might have thought Simon had a concussion. Perhaps he had gone a little touched in the head, because there he lie, covered in dirt and laughing his fool head off.
“Oh, my head” he moaned and began to suck on a deep cut to the back of his hand. Crashing this bike was only going to make things better, even if he had cracked a rib or two. Deep chuckles continued to burst from his belly despite the pain they caused. He looked over to the side of the road where his ride had landed. There it was, his mother’s old pink Schwinn with the drooping center bar and rubber bulb horn. She loved that bike and though he had been allowed to remove the basket and handlebar tassels, she insisted that the horn stay. He gazed on the twisted pile of scrap metal and couldn’t have been happier. Now he could get a really good mountain bike and she could have this girly piece of…well, she could have her bike repaired.
Granny Trudy was the first one to see him as he limped into the yard late that afternoon. She came out of the house madder than a wet hen and screaming, “Simon Joshua Peters, what have you been doing boy? You weren’t teasing the Baker’s dogs again were ya? Sure looks like they got ahold of you.”
“No Granny. I ain’t been nowhere near the Baker’s place.”
“Then what on God’s good earth happened to you?”
“I wrecked the bike Granny.”
“Is everything okay?”
“Yea, I got a few scratches and a cut on my hand but I’m okay.”
“I was askin’ about the bike. I need to go to the church tonight for the quilting bee.”
“Thanks Granny.” He replied with more than a hint of sarcasm.
“I’m glad you’re fine son but I really do need that bike. Where is it?”
“Up off
Old Mill Road
.”
A steely look crossed his Grandmother’s face and Simon knew he was in for it this time.
“You been up to Thrasher Park again? I’ve told you a hundred times it ain’t right for a Peters to go anywhere near that place. What were ya doin’ there boy?”
Simon was caught between a teen’s natural desire for privacy and the golden surprise he had under his arm. The conflict must have shown on his face as Granny paused for a second and then softened her voice, “What’s the matter? Are you sick?”
The joy won out as he fairly exploded, “Granny!!! I found a buried treasure! There’s gold and silver and jewels. Granny there’s an emerald bigger than your fist in here!”
Clumsily, he un-wrapped the chest, set it on a nearby crate and opened the lid. Sunlight reflected in a thousand colors on Gertrude’s face. She swayed a little and Simon thought she might faint.
“Thank the Lord”, she whispered. “Where did you find this?”
A flood of words began to gush forth but just as abruptly stopped. Something was thumping against his leg. His right hand fell deeply into the pocket and closed around a large and slightly bumpy object. He withdrew the thing and found nothing more than his old stone. Yet it was strangely mixed now, halfway between sapphire and rock. Deep in its crystal depths were two letters: N-O.
His mind reeled. The stone didn’t want him to tell how he found the money. What was he going to tell Granny? He cast about for any story no matter how wild it seemed. To buy some time he turned his back on the old lady and started to pace. After mere seconds an explanation began to take shape and slowly he spoke.
“Remember when we used to live at the big house, and you told me never to play near the lake without an adult? Well, one day, just before Daddy died, I was down fishin’ and I saw…something.”
“What did you see?”
Right now though, Simon was thinking about how to avoid having to give the money to anyone else. He couldn’t tell the truth. She wouldn’t believe it and make him give the chest to the cops. If anyone else could claim it then they wouldn’t get to keep all that treasure. But if the ghosts of his kin had hidden it, and if he found it on their land then it would be theirs wouldn’t it?
“I saw two men diggin’ around the roots of an old oak tree near the water. They were dressed kinda funny and wore big wide-brimmed hats with round tops.”
Simon was trying very hard to remember what his ancestors Joseph and Jonathan had looked like. Granny loved to make him sit and go over family picture albums for hours at a time. She would tell him stories about every person they saw. Some were even interesting, but most just bored him to tears.
 “One of them was really tall and had a nasty burn around his neck.” Jonathan stood 6’ 2” and was hung for horse thievery, though it was never proven whether he did it. “The other was also tall but had no front teeth and a hole in the side of his head.” Joseph was a couple inches shorter and fought three men trying to prevent the lynching of his brother. They shot him with a musket to the ear.
“So after these guys were done, they just turned and disappeared into the woods. I walked over to the tree and found this hidden down under the roots. I pulled it out, brought it up to the house, and hid it in the attic. That night momma told me that Daddy had died. I forgot all about the chest until this morning. It took me a few hours to dig through the shed but here it is.”
The tale seemed fantastic, even to Simon who had heard and told quite a few whoppers in his time. He just knew Granny wasn’t going to accept it. She cleared her throat, looked around and whispered,
“Simon, I think it was your Great-Granddad and his brother. They knew your daddy was sick and we needed that money. But I don’t think anyone is gonna believe us. So if somebody asks just say that you found it in our shed like you told me. Okay?”
His mouth dropped open. This was the first time that Granny Trudy had accepted one of his fish stories without question. Usually she saw right through it and pressed him for enough details to make it fall apart. This time it seemed to have worked and he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“You know,” she added, “I think I did see that little chest when we were packing up to move out. I never got around to opening it.” Her lofty air made Simon wonder if she was trying harder to convince him or herself. She ran her fingers through the coins, closed her eyes and silently offered thanks for this Godsend.
After the treasure had been sold, the taxman taking his part, they had almost $275,000. This unimaginable wealth quickly disappeared as they paid off the medical bills, their house, set aside enough for Simon’s college education and bought a few nice things; including a top of the line mountain bike. Life was good again.
Simon grew older and his knack for getting into mischief deepened. Never did he forget the promise to not making his Momma cry, but having a little fun wasn’t bad he told himself.
Most of his shenanigans were completely harmless. He called in a false burglary at the high school so that he could put a milk cow inside the jail house while the cops were busy. Then for two weeks he delivered empty milk bottles to the jail each morning. Another time he jacked-up Mr. Perkins’ Mustang convertible just high enough that the tires barely made contact with the road. The 40 year old man with the mid-life crisis jumped in and tried to speed off but only managed to fill the parking lot with burnt rubber smoke.
Simon’s masterpiece though, the one that would have gotten him arrested if there had been a law against it, was inspired. He faked a newspaper report showing that a skin cream made of mashed bananas, honey and oatmeal, worn very thin, would cure wrinkles and cellulite. Practically every woman in town, including Momma and Granny, paraded around with a bright sheen to their faces. Some desperate souls looked like a bowl of porridge had been turned over their heads and drained under their clothes. The women dripped from home to church; squished at their shopping; and oozed profusely on the weekends when it became very popular to get together at the salon and discuss their favorite skin-recipe. His grand joke was only discovered because he took it one step too far.
After two weeks of looking like half melted crayon women, several ladies wanted to see results. They began caking on the miracle mixture so thick that their husbands couldn’t recognize them anymore. He slipped into the paper a follow-up story that if the proportions weren’t quite right, it could cause the skin to turn orange and then laced the locally made honey tubs with food dye. He couldn’t help but laugh at the dozens of oompa-loompas strutting through town trying their hardest to maintain some semblance of dignity.
As the days of his childhood flew by, Simon began to yearn for something that could not be found in Vinton. He was far more intelligent than most anyone in town except that snotty-nosed Virginia Shelton. At 14 she was so prissy and stuck-up that Simon could barely stand to think of her let alone be her friend. Luckily she was headed to Georgetown in DC for college. Somewhere he had no desire to attend. Everyone said she would be somebody and make a difference in the world, while he just wanted to get out and discover new and bigger things. The world was calling.