Three guys walk into a bar, sit down and start looking over the ladies. There are several large groups spread around because its "Dollar Dames" night and the girls have come out in force. The first guy, a well-dressed businessman, shakes his head and turns to his buddies.
"I just don't understand. Why is it that every bar in this country will have specials for women and the guy is still expected to pick-up the tab? Just once I would like for some nice woman to approach me, buy me a drink and try to chat about my interests"
"Ain't gonna happen bro", replied the second guy, a jock. "That just ain't the way the game is played."
Their cowboy friend simply grunted into his mug of beer.
"No, I'm serious", said Mr. Conservative, "The last time a woman hit on me was just after high school. I snuck into Rosie's down on
and I wasn't there but 10 minutes before some ole' cougar started puttin' the moves on me. She walks up and says, 'My aren't you the sweetest thing. I could eat you up.' Now she wasn't ugly or anything but I tell ya' I was scared. She tossed me the keys to her Lexus and said, 'Let's see how fast we can go'. Here I am driving 100 down the freeway, three shots of tequila under my belt and she's tossing her clothes out the sunroof! The Highway Patrolman didn't think it was so funny when her bra got tangled-up in his windshield wipers. I spent the next week in jail until the judge let me off on probation."
"That ain't nothin'", chortled the jock. "Two weeks ago I was in Stinky's and in walks this biker chick; 250 pounds of leather clad woman. The regulars must have known something cause every guy in the place dropped his head except me. She came rumbling over to my table, leaned in close and said, 'Boy, you look nice and strong. Buy me a drink.' What was I supposed to do? So I said, 'Would you like beer or whisky?' She turned to the bartender and bellowed, 'Stinky, the usual!' Then she reached down, lifted me right out of my seat, dropped onto the groaning cushion and settled me into her lap. Now I ain't no small fry but this gal could wrestle a bear. Her drink came and wouldn't ya know it, a Shirley Temple! She plucked the umbrella out, slipped it over my right ear and said, 'Let's have some fun sweetheart.' I never knew you could do so many things on a Harley."
They both turned to their friend who had remained silent throughout the conversation. "Hey Chet, tell us about the last time a girl tried to hit on you."
"Nah, I don't exactly like to talk about it."
"Oh come on. How can it be worse than his cougar and my Biker Babe? There's no way you could top us."
Chet looked at his empty mug, took a deep breath and replied , “You think you got problems?” he said. “Leastways you ain’t never been picked up by no tornado.
"I just don't understand. Why is it that every bar in this country will have specials for women and the guy is still expected to pick-up the tab? Just once I would like for some nice woman to approach me, buy me a drink and try to chat about my interests"
"Ain't gonna happen bro", replied the second guy, a jock. "That just ain't the way the game is played."
Their cowboy friend simply grunted into his mug of beer.
"No, I'm serious", said Mr. Conservative, "The last time a woman hit on me was just after high school. I snuck into Rosie's down on
and I wasn't there but 10 minutes before some ole' cougar started puttin' the moves on me. She walks up and says, 'My aren't you the sweetest thing. I could eat you up.' Now she wasn't ugly or anything but I tell ya' I was scared. She tossed me the keys to her Lexus and said, 'Let's see how fast we can go'. Here I am driving 100 down the freeway, three shots of tequila under my belt and she's tossing her clothes out the sunroof! The Highway Patrolman didn't think it was so funny when her bra got tangled-up in his windshield wipers. I spent the next week in jail until the judge let me off on probation."
"That ain't nothin'", chortled the jock. "Two weeks ago I was in Stinky's and in walks this biker chick; 250 pounds of leather clad woman. The regulars must have known something cause every guy in the place dropped his head except me. She came rumbling over to my table, leaned in close and said, 'Boy, you look nice and strong. Buy me a drink.' What was I supposed to do? So I said, 'Would you like beer or whisky?' She turned to the bartender and bellowed, 'Stinky, the usual!' Then she reached down, lifted me right out of my seat, dropped onto the groaning cushion and settled me into her lap. Now I ain't no small fry but this gal could wrestle a bear. Her drink came and wouldn't ya know it, a Shirley Temple! She plucked the umbrella out, slipped it over my right ear and said, 'Let's have some fun sweetheart.' I never knew you could do so many things on a Harley."
They both turned to their friend who had remained silent throughout the conversation. "Hey Chet, tell us about the last time a girl tried to hit on you."
"Nah, I don't exactly like to talk about it."
"Oh come on. How can it be worse than his cougar and my Biker Babe? There's no way you could top us."
Chet looked at his empty mug, took a deep breath and replied , “You think you got problems?” he said. “Leastways you ain’t never been picked up by no tornado.
What's the ', “You think you got problems?” he said. “Leastways you ain’t never been picked up by no tornado.' thing about?
ReplyDeleteWas that supposed to be at the end?
ReplyDelete