A Semi-Precious Stone
The interruptions were too much for Simon to deal with. For hours dozens of girls had called, knocked, texted, emailed, or just banged on the walls trying to get Jody’s attention. It was like Elvis without the sequined jumpsuit.
The latest was the pair of freshmen who lived next door. They called in a pizza delivery and “accidentally” gave the wrong room number. When two large pies arrived at Simon and Jody’s place the girls rushed over to apologize for their mistake. Somehow in their haste they forgot to leave the beer and videos in their own room.
“OUT!” Simon ordered them. “Get out before I call the cheerleaders down the hall. You know how jealous they get. You can have Jody in two hours after we finish with our Econ paper.” He then slammed the door shut in their faces.
“They were disappointed”, said Jody walking out of the bedroom after the door had closed. Muffled rants of frustration could still be heard from the hall. “I think you may have lost a friend in the short one.”
“I don’t care,” replied Simon, “We have got to finish that paper and you promised to help me.”
“And help you I will my dear boy.” This was one of Jody’s favorite ways of addressing Simon. They shared the same birthday, exactly one year apart, and Jody never let him forget who was older. “We can now discuss the finer points of government regulation and international law on the oil production sector of the economy.”
Despite all the clowning around, Jody was an intelligent young man with keen insights. Simon felt his friend was wasting his time in Pre-Med when psychology came so naturally to him. Jody had the unique ability to look into a person’s soul and discover exactly what their hopes, fears and desires were. Knowing this made him especially dangerous at anything that required “reading” an opponent. He was deadly at cards and love.
Some people wondered at the instant friendship which developed between the two boys. Though both southern, one grew up in a small rural community while the other hailed from the glamorous city of New Orleans. Jody was over six feet tall, athletic and beyond outgoing to the point of being spastic. Simon was only 5’ 10”, in okay shape for a lab rat and tended to be quieter around people. They were both handsome but in very different ways. Simon was compared to Tom Cruise with his dark brooding looks while Jody could pass for Owen Wilson in his beach bum personae. A few whispered that they might be more than friends but this was generally shouted down by the numerous girls who claimed to have spent time with Jody.
The truth was much simpler: They complimented each other. Certainly their personalities meshed well. Simon was just sensible enough to rein in Jody’s excesses while the latter provided some much needed stress relief at just the right times. They shared a deep seated sense of absurdity that helped them keep life in perspective. So neither felt the slightest need to compete against his buddy which made them free not only to pursue their own agendas but perfectly happy to help each other.
None but the two of them knew how they met. A certain bright October morning found Simon in the lab preparing the test materials for that day’s work when a loud clattering echoed through the hall, followed by the crashing bang of his door being thrown open. He turn to see what had caused the commotion and Simon was confronted by a tall, shaggy haired student whose Hawaiian shorts and bronzed chest were quite out of place here.
“Hey, where’s your fire extinguisher?” the guy said. Simon noticed there was no hint of fear or hurry in his voice.
“Why?”
“I’m collecting ‘em, so we can freeze the stairs in front of the Rotunda. I figure with about 30 we can make a nice ski jump.”
Simon’s long dormant prankster began to stir. The wheels and cogs of a devious mind turned. Ideas became possibilities and then plans. Here was a kindred spirit if he had ever seen one.
Simon poked his head out the door and examined the cart Jody was pulling, filled with red canisters.
“Forget it. Those aren’t going to do you any good. They’re all powder. They won’t freeze anything. But…you could try this.”
Simon had removed a plastic five gallon jug from an old cabinet. With a conspiratorial wink he handed it to Jody.
“This is a new polymer we “borrowed” from the chemistry lab. It sets-up really fast and becomes perfectly clear. Grosskopf thought it could be used to capture hyper-excited atoms in their expanded state. It worked really well except the surface is so smooth we couldn’t hold onto it. We wasted a whole day playing hockey with a disc of this stuff. Just paint it on the stairs with a brush, let it sit for about 15 seconds and then spray with water. That place will be slicker than snot in no time.”
“Thanks a lot”, said Jody in sincere appreciation. “I was beginning to think I was the only fun guy in this joint.”
Jody was about to turn the corner at the end of the hall when Simon called after him.
“Hey, if you’re really brave, you could use those extinguishers as rocket boosters for your jump. And pour some rubbing alcohol on the polymer when you’re done. That’ll dissolve it before security can get there.”
Something magical passed between the two men in that instant. They had an understanding old as the country itself, ‘If we don’t hang together, we will all hang separately.’
The two became fast friends after that. Within a few days Simon invited Jody to move into his dorm. The school was threatening to give him a roommate and it was far better to choose his own than be saddled with an oddball. At first Jody was hesitant. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the idea, far from it. Having someone of like temperament to hang with was a miracle. What Jody feared was that his social life might prove too active for Simon to handle.
“Dude, don’t worry about it. I spend 90% of my time in the lab anyway. When I’m not there or in class well…who would complain about coming home to a half dozen beautiful girls wanting some companionship?”
Jody snorted his opinion that Simon had no idea what he was getting into, then stuck out his hand and said, “Thank you roomie. I’ll go get my stuff.”
There were surprisingly few boxes to unpack. Just five pairs of jeans and a small collection of Hawaiian shirts along with socks and various other essentials.
“Is this it?” Simon asked while pulling a rubber chicken from amongst a jumble of dress shirts.
“Yeah. Most of my stuff is spread through the dorms.”
Very nonplussed, Simon ignored his better judgment and said, “Uh…what?”
“There are quite a few girls who like to hold onto my clothes. Just in case I stay too late and need a change. Kinda silly really but there ya go.”
Jody grabbed a box of toiletries and carried it into the bathroom. The clink of cologne and shaving cream echoed loudly.
“I’m not really as bad as people make me out to be. Just cause I like to have some fun.”
Simon had never been an overly religious man. Granny made sure he read the Bible and kept good morals…mostly. And he had seen and heard enough at Community College to realize that students often hooked-up. That life had never really appealed to him though. He wasn’t so shocked at Jody having a few girlfriends as the casual way he talked about them.
“Hmmm,” he thought, “Roomies aren’t always perfect.”
Inside the last box Simon noticed a very handsome red and gold covered booklet embossed with the Greek letters Gamma Alpha Kappa. They were one of the more popular sororities on campus, boasting most of the cheerleaders and other prominent ladies as members. In idle curiosity he flipped open the cover and saw Jody’s large autograph adorning the title page:
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