“Come-on!” he urged. “You won’t believe how funny this guy is and I don’t want to miss any of it.”
Simon quickened his step, if only to get his friend to lighten-up.
“Jody, who is this magician again”?
“Dude, he’s called Nachton the Great. I saw him down in Naw-lins a couple years ago. Ya’ll gonna laugh your butt off, now come-on!”
Jody’s drawl became more pronounced whenever he was excited or frustrated. Simon wasn’t sure which his friend was feeling right now.
Just off campus on University Street , past the Student Book Store, they found The College Inn. Unlike other beer joints with their empty stools and lonely bar-flys, there was some real excitement here. A large crowd hung about the front door watching for their friends to arrive. Jody waded into the pack which roared their welcome.
“Joooooooadsssssss!!!!” they cried. A dozen guys wrung his hand or slapped him on the back while breathless girls jockeyed to give him deep meaningful hugs.
“Do you know everybody?” Simon wondered aloud, at once jealous and incredulous.
“Yep”, Jody laughed and raising his voice gestured over the crowd, “THESE ARE MY PEOPLE. I love them and they love me!”
A roar of approval rose in the street and flooded the alleyway. Guys were basking in Jody’s shared glory and the gals hoped for another kind of sharing later.
Jody’s face twisted into that beguiling smile as he winked at a shy red-head who was hovering alone at the edge of the pack. She lowered her face and blushed furiously. Simon watched in awe as Jody gracefully maneuvered to the young woman, whispered in her ear, and slid his arm around her waist. Several of the coeds looked disappointed at not being chosen and only reluctantly turned back to their boyfriends.
“Ahhhh-Righhhht! Who’s ready to go see the show?” Jody called over the milling throng.
With the arrival of their idol came a heightened sense of excitement, aided by hormones, beer and Jody’s infectious joy. A general acclamation urged them toward the door. At the head of this human tsunami strode Mr. Cool, escorting a girl who, for at least one evening, was the envy of every woman around.
Simon had never felt very comfortable in bars. A small nagging voice deep in the back of his head kept saying, “You know you shouldn’t be here. Mama would be ashamed.”
He quickly ordered a drink. Usually a couple beers or a stiff shot was enough to drown his conscience. But lately the voice had become more tenacious. Tonight it was a pit bull.
“Shut-up!” he growled to the unwelcome guest as two shots of tequila travelled in succession to his lips.
“What’d ya say?” yelled a pretty blond from a nearby booth. Her voice didn’t carry well over the bad DJ.
Simon glanced at her and mentally filled-in the scorecard. “Nice hair, deep blue eyes, her nose is a bit large but then so are her…”
She stood and moved to the seat next to him.
“I said ‘What up’” he answered. “Can I get you a drink?” Simon was not one to let an opportunity pass by and he was only being friendly.
“My name’s Kara.” She said in that non-committal way which said ‘I’m not coming on to you’ but also asked, ‘What do you think of me?’
“Simon, Simon Peters”, he replied.
Her eyes lit up briefly, “You were dating Ginni Shelton. All us girls in the PAN really liked her. I am so sorry.”
“The PAN?” he said shaking his head slightly.
“Yea, the Political Action Network. Ginni started it a few years ago as a way of helping young women to meet important people and learn how politics really works. Without her I would have stayed in my first major- Psychology with an emphasis on Human Sexuality.”
“Sounds like an interesting subject to me.” He grinned.
“Not as much as you would think” replied Kara. “Learning about other people’s hang-ups was just really icky. Now I’ve switched to PoliSci and it is a lot…more…fun!”
She jumped to her feet, whirled about in a circle and screamed, “Whooooooooo!!!”
She had had a couple too many already. He wondered if she would need someone to escort her back to campus and the less gentlemanly portion of Simon’s brain began to think the same thing.
Just then the DJ announced that one of the Frats had a special dedication for all the beautiful ladies in the house. Several large guys in checkered shirts, boots and Stetsons gathered around the microphone. The twang of steel guitar and drunk rednecks broke over the loudspeaker as the music of Kenny Roger’s The Gambler began to play:
On a warm summer's evenin' in a bar close to nowhere
I met up with a Cougar, we were both too randy to sleep
So we took turns a starin' but pretendin’ not to notice
'Til lust it overtook us and she began to speak
She said, "Son, I've enjoyed my life, and loved in many places,
I met up with a Cougar, we were both too randy to sleep
So we took turns a starin' but pretendin’ not to notice
'Til lust it overtook us and she began to speak
She said, "Son, I've enjoyed my life, and loved in many places,
I know what your thoughts are by the look there in your eyes
So if you don't mind my sayin', You don’t have the worst of faces
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you somethin’ nice"
So I handed her my bottle and she drank down my last swallow
Then she bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet, her face had-a flushed expression
Said, "If you're gonna play with girls, boy, you gotta learn to play ‘em right"
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to mold 'em
Know when to walk away and know when to run
You gotta say ‘I love you’ before heading to the bedroom
It’s far too late for lyin' when the screwin's done
Every bimbo knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin'-what guys to throw away and knowing which ones to keep
'Cause every boy’s a winner and every man's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is they-don’ snore in their sleep
And when she finished speakin', she turned back towards the bar-man
Laid down a twenty bill and said ‘the change you can keep’
As we stepped into the darkness, I’d made that Bimbo’s evening
And I knew that I would win now ‘cause I don’ snore in my sleep.
You got to know when to hold 'em, know how to mold 'em
Know when to walk away and how fast to run
If you say ‘I love you’ while you’re heading for the bedroom
You gonna need some fancy lyin' when the screwin's done
You got to know what to buy 'em, know how to ply 'em
Some want to walk the aisle, others just want some fun
You gotta say ‘I need you’ when you’re heading for the bedroom
There'll be time enough for lyin' when the screwin's done
You need to work on the cold ones, have pity on the old ones
Take your share of bigger girls, Don’t look when they’re too young,
Gotta keep your head about you when you wake in a strange bedroom
Gotta be prepared to leave ‘em when the screwin's done
So if you don't mind my sayin', You don’t have the worst of faces
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you somethin’ nice"
So I handed her my bottle and she drank down my last swallow
Then she bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet, her face had-a flushed expression
Said, "If you're gonna play with girls, boy, you gotta learn to play ‘em right"
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to mold 'em
Know when to walk away and know when to run
You gotta say ‘I love you’ before heading to the bedroom
It’s far too late for lyin' when the screwin's done
Every bimbo knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin'-what guys to throw away and knowing which ones to keep
'Cause every boy’s a winner and every man's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is they-don’ snore in their sleep
And when she finished speakin', she turned back towards the bar-man
Laid down a twenty bill and said ‘the change you can keep’
As we stepped into the darkness, I’d made that Bimbo’s evening
And I knew that I would win now ‘cause I don’ snore in my sleep.
You got to know when to hold 'em, know how to mold 'em
Know when to walk away and how fast to run
If you say ‘I love you’ while you’re heading for the bedroom
You gonna need some fancy lyin' when the screwin's done
You got to know what to buy 'em, know how to ply 'em
Some want to walk the aisle, others just want some fun
You gotta say ‘I need you’ when you’re heading for the bedroom
There'll be time enough for lyin' when the screwin's done
You need to work on the cold ones, have pity on the old ones
Take your share of bigger girls, Don’t look when they’re too young,
Gotta keep your head about you when you wake in a strange bedroom
Gotta be prepared to leave ‘em when the screwin's done
The music had drawn Kara to the stage where she was now deeply enmeshed with the red-haired lead singer. But that didn’t bother Simon any. Unlike most guys, he wasn’t into bagging as many coeds as possible. In fact he’d hoped Ginni would be his first. Granny had always said purity was something special to be kept until the time was right. Holding on to his was the only way he could think of to honor her.
Two girls joined Kara and they escorted their men out of the spotlight making room for the first of the scheduled acts. Onto the stage stalked the biggest man any of them had ever seen. Seven foot one and 300 pounds, George the Giant surely earned his moniker. He was a one-man sideshow performance. After drinking milk from a massive twisty-straw through his nose, he walked on broken glass, hammered a spike into his head, swallowed a three foot sword and breathed fire across the room. His performance was a hit with the college crowd and they rewarded him handsomely. George’s finale was allowing people to staple money to his chest. Twenties or better went to the forehead and bought an autographed coloring book.
Behind the Giant came a rather thin and scruffy looking magician.
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